How To Roll A Joint
So you’ve got yourself some of that super skunky, sticky green goodness. Good job, half of the battle is over. But there is still the ever important task of turning it into smoke and then inhaling said smoke. But how? There are many ways to ingest your meds, but one of the best ways is with a joint. Simple, elegant, sleek. The joint is the Cadillac of herb consumption and is perfect for sharing with friends. However, mastering the art of rolling a joint can be tricky. For that reason, I’ve written up this piece to explain how to roll a joint as well as how to use proper joint etiquette when sharing. Nobody wants to be “that guy.”
What You’ll Need To Learn How To Roll A Joint
What you’ll need to learn how to roll a joint. The specifics of exactly what you need to roll a smoke worthy joint are up for debate. Some swear by grinding your bud in a grinder while others insist that ruins it. Some people won’t smoke a joint without a crutch (a piece of rigid paper in the mouthpiece to prevent you from sucking herb into your mouth) and others simply twist one up and light it, no frills. The truth is no matter how you LIKE to roll, you only NEED two things for a joint. Some herb, and a rolling paper. You can grind with your fingers and there are worse things than a piece of green in your teeth.
Using A Pre-made Cone Paper
If you don’t think you can learn how to roll or just don’t want to, you can use a cone. Papermakers have gotten wise to the fact that there are a lot of people that simply don’t want to roll. For this reason, they do the rolling for you. These papers come in the shape of a cone, with a crutch built in. All you have to do is fill them up with your herb of choice, twist the end, and light it up. Much easier than rolling your own, but a bit of a cheat if you ask me.
For this particular piece, we’ll be focusing on the barebones model, as that’s likely where you’ll start off. Here’s how to get started.
Step 1: Fill Your Rolling Paper
Alright, now we’re getting into the meat of this thing. I guess by that I’m saying that the joint is kind of like a sandwich wrap, and I suppose that means the paper is the tortilla. Great, now I’m hungry. Anyway, take your rolling paper, hold it crease down with the shiny glue strip on the end furthest away from you. Fill it with your smoking herb of choice. Because Big Brother is watching, I’ve been forced to use the ever evil tobacco in my tutorial photos, but you guys can use whichever herb you like most. (winky face) Make sure not to fill it too much, you’ll need to be able to close it back up later. I’ll explain how.
Step 2: How To Get Even Distribution
When I was first learning how to roll a joint, my uncle told me something I’ll never forget. He said, “If you don’t want to get her pregnant, just use your finger.” I had no idea what he was talking about until he started rolling a joint. After he filled it up, he used his finger to move some of the herb from the middle to either side of the paper. Then when he shaped it, the two mounds smashed down, evenly spreading the bud through the whole joint. That prevented it from being too full (pregnant) in the middle and tiny on the ends.
Step 3: How To Shape The Joint
Once the herb is spread out, use your index fingers (behind the back of the paper) and your thumbs (in front of the paper) to roll the herb up and down inside it until you can feel the shape of the joint is smooth and even from end to end. (no thick or thin spots). Then you slide the front of the paper all the way down and back up, tucking the front edge between the rolled herb and the inside of the paper.
Step 4: How To Roll It Up (Lick And Stick It)
You’re so close! You’re just a few simple steps away from lighting that joint you’ve worked so hard to create. You deserve a break. Now that the front end of your paper has been tucked behind the herb, all you need to do is use your thumbs and index fingers to roll it up into its final shape. When it’s almost all the way rolled up, stop. Don’t forget to lick the glue strip or all that work will have been for nothing. Give it a good lick and use your index fingers to fold the back end of the paper(where you just licked) over onto the dry front, creating a seal. Boom! Now you’re ready to smoke.
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Why We Pass It To The Left
If you’re new to the game, you might be thinking, “What does it matter which way it gets passed?” Technically, it doesn’t matter. But for a long time now, stoners have been passing to the left religiously. Some people have come up with ideas as to why this tradition started. I’ve heard everything. Some say ancient warriors started passing to the left so they could keep their right hand (sword hand) free for potential battle. Wait, I didn’t know you could get stoned during a war. And I get to use a sword? Sign me up! Honestly, I’m pretty sure nobody knows why we pass to the left, but we still do it. Maybe we blame Musical Youth for telling us to Pass The Dutchie On The Left Hand Side.
How Not To Get It Wet (Stop Licking Your Lips)
Look, I get it. You’re smoking that sweet deliciousness and maybe it’s been a while. You’re excited. That’s no excuse to slobber all over the end of the joint. Especially if you’re sharing it with friends. The last thing anybody wants is to put a joint, cold and wet with someone else’s spit, in their mouth. It’s gross. How do you stop? The solution to this problem is a simple one. Just quit licking your lips while you smoke. And pay attention to how dry they are before you take a hit. Otherwise, you might find yourself running out of people that want to smoke with you.
Practice Makes Perfect
Let’s face it, if you are going to learn how to roll a joint you aren’t going to get it right on your first try. It’s gonna take some practice. Buy a bunch of papers. Get a bunch of, um, rolling herbs. Sit down and don’t get up until you roll one that looks smokeable. Then you can sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Or should I say the “flowers” of your hard work? Soon enough, you’ll be a pro. Eventually, when the time comes, you’ll be able to pass on your rolling knowledge to a stoner in need. Go forth, make the world a stonier place.
Sincerely, Sacramento Dabber – Bill Wallis